The Work Spouse and Boundaries

Posted By: Linda Lee Ruzicka In: Business Professional

Just what exactly is a “work spouse”?  A work spouse is a co-worker of the opposite sex or same sex that you have a platonic close relationship with.  So how do you know if you’re in a relationship with a work spouse?  What qualifies someone to be a work spouse? 

If your co-worker knows what to order for you for meals, right down to how much mustard you like on your sandwich to how much cream you like in your coffee, then they could be a work spouse. Do you know if this person likes their cinnamon buns heated? Or if they like mayo on their turkey club?

If you share jokes that only the two of you get, excluding everyone else, who just look at you the two of you, clueless.

Do you and this person share a lot of personal details?  Do they know where your favorite vacation spot is, your political views and religious views?  Do you remind them when it’s their spouse’s birthday or anniversary?

Do you seek this person’s opinions on your job duties or depend on their assistance and consultations?

If you have answered yes to any of these questions, then you have a work spouse.

Having a work spouse isn’t necessarily a bad thing, there are a lot of advantages.  You need to know where the boundaries lie, though.  You have a friend that provides emotional support during times of stress and working related problems.  You can make a very productive functioning team that can complement each other’s skills and abilities. 

There are a few things that you will need to keep in mind so that the relationship that you have is not misconstrued by other people or even your spouse. Be sure when working with other people on a team to include and reach out to others for feedback and suggestions.  Working only with each other and shutting out the other team members is not something you want to do.  Keep the lines of communication open so the other co- workers don’t misinterpret the two of you as a clique.  With having a work spouse, there can be rumors and you can be the talk around the water cooler.  Make sure that everything is kept above board. Be sure to set boundaries on what you share with your work spouse.  Make sure the boundaries are honored and back off if the relationship becomes too close for comfort.

How will your spouse take to the thought of you having a “work spouse”?  If you don’t hide the relationship, your spouse can listen to any problems that may crop up in your work relationship.  If you’re having a disagreement with them about something, it will follow you home from work, talking to your spouse about it will make them feel as if they aren’t excluded and maybe even help solve the problem.  As long as you keep your priorities in order, there shouldn’t be a problem.

Having a work spouse can make your job easier, more enjoyable and help relieve work related stress.  Just remember to stay within the boundaries that you make and don’t let the relationship with the work spouse take a higher priority than your relationship at home.

If you have a work spouse, please let a comment about it.  I’d love to hear from you.